Autumn feels

September has just begun and already the temperatures have gone no higher than 70 degrees. For me, this is heaven since I really dislike the summer months. I love the fall and everything that comes with it including wearing light hoodies and sweaters, ankle boots and cranberry colored everything. Toss in beautiful multicolored leaves and of course pumpkin spiced everything and you’ll find me floating in my warm and fuzzy feelings. The only downside to all this inner tranquility is not having someone to share it with.

Affectionately known as “cuddle season”, you really can’t help but become hyper-aware of the couples that have survived the heat, humidity and feral energies of the months of May through July when you’re single. When the weather changes in early September, my desires to attend outdoor events increases. I’ve taken the advice of self-help books and e-speakers and learned how to enjoy my company alone but while taking myself out on “me dates”, I’m surrounded by people on “we dates”. In the fall, the air is cool enough for them to be seen holding hands or with interlocked arms without worrying about sweating within five seconds of the first contact, nor too cold to be kept apart by the several inches of clothing layers required to do anything outside of your apartment in the winter. I usually fight the urge to roll my eyes and give a hopeful smile instead. 

I’m a lover of love and seeing people genuinely enjoying each other’s company is pleasing to my heart but I do wonder often when will I get my turn to enjoy public intimacy? My last relationship was a long distance one and even though I had someone to claim with just a title alone, there were a lot of things we were not able to do together during all seasons because of the distance. The times we did get to spend with each other were great but honestly, it made me crave frequent physical contact even more. 

Some people try to point out to me couples that have met in their elder years as a way to keep my levels of optimism high and that one day  I’ll be able to walk hand-in-hand with my own “boo”. I do thank them for their encouragement, however, no one knows how much time any of us have left to roam around this planet so why not snag a partner-in-crime now? But wait, HOW does one go about doing said snag? Maybe I should research this…? Before you can suggest it, yes, I’ve already tried my hands at online dating but that was completely unsuccessful. The only people I’ve met online were either emotionally unavailable towards dating with the option of growing into a relationship or had a girlfriend (or wife) and used the site to find a sex friend. Realizing this, I deleted my profile because why waste my time getting to know people who are not on the same page as myself?

Anyway, I’ll just continue listening to the rain currently falling outside my window and dream of future days to come where the warmth and purring of the company of my cat will be replaced by that of a human. Or maybe I’ll add another coat of cranberry colored nail polish to my nails to keep me occupied and ready for the first day of fall since it will be here sooner than later, wether we are single or coupled.

3 thoughts on “Autumn feels

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